


The Blackness would soon be Fragmented.

by majesticlolipop



Category: Sherlock (TV), Sherlock Holmes & Related Fandoms
Genre: F/M, Flashbacks, John Watson is a poor baby who needs protected, John Watson's War, John john john, John-centric, Minor Character Death, POV John, angst with happy ending, slight suicidal thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-28
Updated: 2015-05-28
Packaged: 2018-04-01 18:10:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 804
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4029667
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/majesticlolipop/pseuds/majesticlolipop
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which John remembers the events that followed him being shot during the war.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Blackness would soon be Fragmented.

Afghanistan. The year was two thousand and eight and I was on the front trenches. Clad in my green and beige camouflage suit, I was running along side Bennett, a twenty four bullet, cold metal murder weapon in my hands. I was running. The sand hit my eyes like daggers. I was running. The sun sank through the fabric of my back like an unwelcome embrace. I was running. I could hear Bennett shouting hysterically at me to take cover on mounds we had made to crouch behind, although they seemed to be oceans away.

I wasn’t running.

I felt my eyes cloud, the shapes around me morphing in to one another like a Picasso painting. Distantly I could hear someone shout my name. Was it distant? It sounded so but the man above me whose mouth I could just make out moving said otherwise. My heartbeat was thundering in my ears like the drums of death. The drums that signalled that a man were to be hung in those old time movies my mother had made me watch as a child.

Soon enough the shapes turned to one colour – Black. My heartbeat was becoming faster although less and less in focus. Soon enough I slipped through the veil of unconsciousness. This is the darkness that I like. Being in too much shock to feel pain, yet your body shutting down quickly before you can feel it. Before the pain devours your entire body and leaves but a shell behind. This is what happened when I woke up. Sometimes I wish I hadn’t.

Gunshot wound to the right shoulder. Hit the renal artery. I was “lucky to be alive” they had told me in the hospital. Lucky wasn’t the word I would have used. Turned out Bennett had been shot too. He hadn’t been as “lucky” as I had been. I looked around the dirty makeshift hospital ward and sighed, kicking my good leg hard against the mattress in frustration. I knew what was about to happen. It was only made certain when I saw the noble, stern face of Major Sholto walk into the ward. Concern was etched on his features, making his disfigured face even more intimidating. “Sergeant Watson.” He said. “You will go home to London where they will look after you more professionally then we are able to here. Consider yourself discharged.” He said in his usual sharp tongue. I shut my eyes tightly and nodded solemnly, accepting my fate. Discharged. No more saving lives. No more adrenalin. No more blood pumping through my veins as I ran through the trenches, defending my friends and strangers, no matter the cost. I opened my eyes and looked up at him, before putting my hand on my forehead as a solute to him. He matched my actions and sharply pushed his hand into the air. “It was a pleasure to be your Major.” He said, and I saw a hint of kindness in his eyes before he stood up and left abruptly.

I watched the door he passed through long after he had left before falling on the rough pillow under me. I prayed that the pain of my shoulder would take me in my sleep. I didn’t want to go home to nobody. I didn’t want to pretend to be normal. I wanted to stay here, or succumb to the blackness that was eating me whole.

The blackness would soon be fragmented, though.

I believe in being given a second chance. I am proof that this exists. It is now two thousand and fifteen. I am lying beside a beautiful woman whose arm is slung around my waist. Always there. Constantly protecting me silently from the darkness that sometimes creeps in. Happiness is in the form of my daughter in the next room. She had just turned one and she does not know what sadness is. And because I have her, sometimes I forget too.  
To top this off, my best friend is a sociopath. This may sound like a ridiculous thing to be pleased about but the man saved my life in so many ways. Not only is being with him always an adventure, and so I am never without a life filled with adrenalin, but I am also never lonely. We have realised that we work well together. Like Ying and Yang, we are perfectly complimentary. He is a complete genius but lacks social understanding and compassion. I can provide that. I have a quick temper and dangerous sense of humour that seems to cause me trouble, yet he makes sure that no harm will come to me at any cost. I now have the family I needed. I now have the love I craved, and I am glad that I didn’t let myself be succumbed by the darkness.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you like it, please comment if you did! Love you all, -Katch


End file.
